How Cliché
by LeStrange and Quinzel
Summary: Events have conspired against us, against Sophie and me. The world has lost it's mind and fiction is now reality. It's just another one of those stories, where animals aren't as they seem and two unwitting girls get pulled into crap that shouldn't exist. How was a I supposed to know those puppies were actually the Akatsuki?
1. Chapter 1

Cliché.

That is the only thing I can think of to call what my life had become.

My life, my boring, normal, nicely un-unique life, with my boring, normal, family. My friends were normal too. And so was the day all that norm was shot to hell.

It started out as a normal day off; I woke up around one in the afternoon, didn't bother to get dressed, and ate whatever left overs were in the fridge, Chinese if you care to know. From there I dropped into the couch my grandparents had been nice enough to give me and my roommate when we moved into the house I had moved out of when I was ten.

The house was one of the four on the block that was owned by my family, my great-grandmothers house was to the west of us, only a single story to my houses three, and to out east was the fourplex my grandparents owned, and then their own house as well, currently under the guardian ship of their friend while grandma and papa avoid the winter cold of Colorado in Arizona. Behind all four buildings is about five acres of now empty horse pasture, fenced off with barbed wire. Pine trees concealed the details of the pasture from those that didn't enter, and the tall grass in the broken up round pen acts as a perfect place for our beloved deer to rest. The entire place had been bought, build, and rented out by my grandfather, and since I was their favorite I got a discount on rent.

Anyway, when I got down to the second story, the living story, my aforementioned roommate was already gone, probably at work. She worked as assistant manager at Fiesta Mexicana, a few blocks south of us and, like the rest of the town, well within walking distance.

The TV was flicked on and sound met my ears, various shows flashing before my eyes for barely ten minutes before the door bell rung, interrupting everything else. I stood up and made my way off the carpet of the living room, hitting the hard wood of the hallway/dining room/entrance hall and pulled the heavy front door open, revealing my third oldest cousin.

"Ginny, what's up?" I asked, letting her walk in and closing the door behind her, almost locking it before stopping myself. No need to be that paranoid.

"Well I was helping BJ get all the paper work done at the shelter and someone came in with a box of puppies," I nodded, humming and waiting for her to continue. People usually bring puppies to animal shelters right? "and we don't have room for anymore. The dogs, they act weird, and John thinks it will be impossible to get them adopted. And since you have all this room in your house…"

"I don't know," I admitted, knowing Sophie wouldn't like it if I said yes right away. We had had a couple of cats when I was a kid, and the litter box and litter was still in the Hole, and we had had dogs all throughout my life and a good portion of the backyard was still fenced in.

"Come on Shell, I know you wouldn't just let them die. I would take them, but I don't have the room, and mama already has two cats, same with grandma and papa," Ginny reasoned, and I felt myself give in. I really needed to figure out how to say no.

"Alright, I'll take them," I watched my cousin grin happily and pull me into a hug, which I returned quickly before she started for the door.

"We need to go then, before John takes any to the vet," I nodded in agreement and ran to my room with a shout of 'just a minute' before throwing on jeans, pulling on boots and shrugging into my favorite trench coat before jogging back down the stairs to the middle floor and exiting through the garage door, descending those steps as well to the ground floor, which was just the garage and some storage space.

The door opened easily and Ginny was waiting for me, lacking her own car and having walked the distance between my house and the small animal shelter out town had. The drive was short, and when we got there we went in, straight to the desk and the greying haired woman behind it. BJ, my mom's best friend, looked up at us and seemed relieved. John came out of the back and had the same expression. I was going to regret this.

I just didn't know how much yet.

* * *

"Fuck!" a shout was heard, not uncommonly, from the mouth of a silver haired young man as he jumped back several feet alongside his cloth covered partner and the shorter red haired man, dodging an explosion that would have taken his head off, something even he couldn't afford to have happen right then.

Bombs went off and elements crashed through the air, weapons flashing and hundreds of opponents descended upon the group of red and black clad criminals. They were surrounded, strings of glowing blue cutting them off from the outside world as a perimeter was held up by unidentifiable men and women. The strings began glowing a second later and several other fighters appeared, holding pieces of paper and chanting rhythmically.

"What's going on, hm?" a blond boy, standing several feet to the left asked, singular visible eyes darting rapidly around them as the air crackled with energy and the previous excitement of fighting was replaced by a hair raising static and a burning heat. And then there was a light, and the strings, more like ropes, converged, slamming into them and sending a searing pain through ten bodies and world went black.

When they woke up the ten criminals found one hell of a surprise awaiting them, though the time they had been allowed to attempt to solve their new problem was cut off when they found themselves rounded up by men in uniforms and shipped off to sit in a cage for hours.

* * *

The door opened and the second Sophia Sinclaire entered her home she knew something was wrong. For one her lay about roommate was nowhere to be seen, and unless she had been called in to work early then there was no reason for her not to be either on the couch, in the kitchen, or thumping away upstairs as she tried to dig something out of the attic/closet. But she wasn't.

"Shells?" she called hesitantly, grabbing a baseball bat out from behind the hall tree and looking around wearily.

"In here!" Sophie relaxed ever so slightly, lowering the tip of the bat when she heard her friends voice emanate from the back storage room. She set the hard wood back after a moment's hesitation and pushed a hand through her short black hair, slipping off her shoes and walking to the room, socks slipping on wood and then tile when she crossed the kitchen and opened the door, freezing when she caught sight of what awaited her in the next room over.

"Shelly?" she asked quietly, shutting the door behind her and staring at the scene before her.

"Yes?" the other girl was squirming ever so slightly, on black ball of fluff held in her lap as she sat cross legged on the floor.

"Where in the hell did we get this many dogs?"


	2. Chapter 2

There were two girls, Yahiko noted, watching the second walk into the room and stare at him and his new companions. He wasn't sure how he had ended up there, the last thing he remembered was forfeiting his life so that Nagato and Konan would live, and then he wakes up on the side of road made entirely of stone with boxes of metal, almost like carts, flying past as fast as he could run, surrounded by dogs. At first had had thought perhaps it was heaven, and he had been sent ahead to join Chibi and wait for his friends, so he had tried to stand up and see better from where he had found himself on the ground. And when he had stood up he realized something.

He too was a dog.

It was unorthodox, to be a canine and still think as a human, and he found it odd to walk on all fours, but as the other ten dogs, each of different breeds, awoke he found that they were having similar difficulties. They were just as human as he was, and what's more they all seemed to know each other. Aside from a stunned reunion with his best friends there hadn't been much time for introductions before three men in strange uniforms had appeared out of one of the boxes and, after a brief scuffle, all eleven of the newly canine ninja found themselves shoved in metal crates and taken to a small building. From there they had waited for several hours, plotting ways to escape before three women walked into the room where they had been held, three to a cage.

They had been loaded up in plastic carrying cases while the women spoke and set in the back of yet another cart, this one shaped differently from the one before. It was smaller, green, and squarer shaped. The women hadn't used each other's names, nor had they said anything helpful, and the former Shinobi were forced to wait and listen, though two or three of them had tried to bite the hands that held them.

The women exchanged what he assumed to be goodbyes before two of them left, leaving behind the one who had taken them home with her. She was young, maybe five years younger than he was, with long brown hair and dark blue eyes. Aside from a scar on her felt cheek, and another just above her right eye there was nothing that really stuck out to him about her. The other woman had both been plain, one much older than the other two with brown hair that was inching towards grey, and the other with shorter brown hair, both with brown eyes.

They had only just been placed on a tiled floor on the second story of a house when someone new came in, yet another girl, and she stared at them with utmost confusion. Wavy black hair fell beyond her ear lobes and equally dark eyes stared at him and his companion from behind wire framed glasses.

"Who the fuck is that bitch?" Yahiko looked at the white hound to his right, ears twitching at the harsh words at the dog, Hidan he thought the name was, spoke.

"Shut up Hidan, we don't know," growled the dark brown pup from across the small room. Kakuku, or something. Kakuzu.

"Fuck you Kakuzu!" he was right, that was the name.

"Stop fighting," Nagato, _pein _he reminded himself, growled, forcing the other two into silence, or relative silence at least. Hidan wouldn't stop grumbling, and Yahiko had to wonder what they sounded like to the two girls, though they were arguing too it seemed, so they may not have noticed.

He yelped in surprise when the new comer grabbed him by the scruff and pulled him into her lap.

* * *

I looked up from where I was playing with a little black dog in my lap when Sophie asked the question, and after a brief explanation and a quick argument she was sitting across from me, legs tucked up under her skirt and orange-ish dog in hand.

"What breeds are they, do we know?" she asked, and I paused to look at them all.

"Well the skinny red one with the curly paws is probably an Irish Setter. The girl with the blue tint is definitely a Blue Heeler I think. The one you've got is a Golden Retriever, this little guy," I picked up the little ball of black fluff in my lap and nuzzled the top of his head, "is a beagle. The big blue-ish one is some kind of Chow mix, I think maybe black lab, see his purple tongue? The weird one that split strait down the middle I assume it just a mutt, but he looks like a chimera to me. That black and white one with the sorta red eyes looks like a springer spaniel. The white one I can't think of the name, but it's a herding dog bread in the US I think. That one he was just fighting with looks like a malamute, and that other red one looks like a boxer I think. The other one is a yellow lab though, no doubt."

"How do you even remember all of those?" Sophie asked, setting her dog down and selecting the Irish setter, "You remember the weirdest things, but school still gets you."

"Hush," I ordered, sticking my tongue out at her, "and besides, school is boring. I only remember things I'm interested in."

"Selective hearing, but with your brain," Sophie concluded shifting around until she stood up, scratching the red pup behind the ears, "I'm gonna go change. Bring them all out into the living room and we can think of names for them."

* * *

The dog was set down and Sophie abandoned her roommate and friend in the laundry room and ascended the stair case to the top level, taking the first and only door on the left and quickly changing out of the casual uniform her work required, favoring instead a grey tunic and black leggings.

When she returned to the main floor she found Shelly sitting among the puppies, watching them more than actually interacting with them, which really wasn't as weird as some people might think. She came in and sat down as well, watching the puppies explore their new environment, though they acted strange for puppies, she thought.

"So," Sophie started, lowering herself to the ground a few feet from her roommate, "names are in order I think."

"Agreed," Shelly nodded, crossing her legs and plucking the springer spaniel off the ground, "I vote we name this one Crowley."

"The demon king?" Sophie asked, watching her friend nod seriously, "I guess that's a good enough name. But we _have _to name the beagle Shiloh."

"Isn't that a bit cliché?" the other asked, leaning back against the couch and arching a brow in question.

"So what if it is?" she replied, putting her weight on one hand and using the other to set the golden retriever, her personal favorite, in her lap.

"So nothing. That dog isn't being named Buddy though."

"What do you suggest then?"

"How about Caesar?" she asked, staring at the golden retriever in an almost calculating fashion.

"You want to name him after a dead roman emperor?" Sophie stared at her for a moment and Shelly shrugged before her dark haired friend copied the gesture, "Caesar it is then."

"I'm thinking Clifford for that one," the long haired girl pointed to the red dog, who stared straight back at her in an a way the made Sophie's skin crawl.

"And you said I was cliché," she muttered, petting the newly dubbed Caesar.

"Hey it's ironic! Look, he's skinny and small, not Clifford the big red dog at all, except for his fur. And remember Emily-Elizabeth thought about getting an Irish Setter before they got Clifford so why not name him that?" Shelly asked, and the black haired girl stared at her friend blankly, once more wondering how she remembered such strange things.

"Okay… hey, why don't we call the Chow Big Blue?" Sophie joked, and Shelly shook her head, looking horrified at her friend's suggestion.

"No way. What was the name of that guy you liked in that book, the one with the mist and the metal?" Shelly looked at the largest dog and Sophie followed her gaze, taking what looked like a glare that was being sent her way by the big dog.

"Kelsier. That's his name. Okay, so now he's Kelsier. Let's see, we don't want any generic names so we're not naming the white one something lame, like snowy or something," Sophie reached out to grab the silver furred dog and had to yank her hand back to avoid getting bitten.

"Hmm…" Shelly hummed and Sophie watched her stare at the white dog for a few minutes before snapping her fingers, "Look at the collar he has!"

Sophie did, and when she caught sight of exactly what it was a grin spread across her face. She knew what to name that one.

"Jashin," the silver furred dog stilled at and stared her and Sophie smirked widely at the new name.

"Perfect. He's even ill-tempered enough for it to work. What about the Heeler?" their attention shifted and after a second Sophie whistled and made a hand gesture to get the only female to come away from Clifford. After several seconds of hesitation the perfectly symmetrical dog made her way over to the girls and sat down between them.

"How about Juvia?" the slightly older girl offered, letting Caesar go to the female.

"Juvia the rain woman," Shelly nodded and it was decided, "in honor of 'call of the wild' how about we name the malamute Buck?"

"Sounds good to me. You know Adam means red, we could call the boxer that."

"Adam works for me. Hey, you know what we should name the Chimera?" Sophie watched a grin slid across her friends face a felt dread slid into her skin, "We should call him Alexander."

She paused for a second.

"You are a horrible person," she stated, and Shelly's grin only grew.

"Why thank you. That's all of them except for the lab. What do you wanna call him?" she asked, and Sophie shrugged.

"Let's see. Labs, Labs, Labs… Travis Coates was the main character in 'old yeller', we could name him Travis?" she offered, and Shelly nodded in agreement.

"Travis it is. Well, that's all of them."

* * *

"What the fuck kind of name is 'Travis' un?"


	3. Chapter 3

We had weird dogs.

I know, everyone says that, but we had seriously _weird_ dogs.

For one they didn't actually act like puppies, except for Shiloh, and he was the most hyperactive puppy I'd had in thirteen years. For another they absolutely refused to eat dog food. We had to start feeling them rice, bits of beef, and various vegetables. We found that eleven dogs were far too many to take on a walk all at once, so we split them up into couples and a triplet and took them all out at least once a day. Usually they were just released onto the deck, and after a few minutes the first time they figured out they could run down the stairs to the fenced in yard.

Oh, and they were growing up.

Fast.

Clifford, Caesar, and Juvia had this tendency to lay down on the hammock or sit as three on top of the singular dog house, and it became very clear that despite his lack of bulk the Irish Setter was the alpha, and Caesar was tied with Juvia to make the cut of Beta.

Things fell into a nice rhythm for about three months. In the morning Sophie went to work, came back in the afternoons and drove down to Colorado Springs for her classes when they weren't being held online. About the same time she left for that I let the dogs outside on last time before locking them up in the laundry room and going for my shift at the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource Center for several hours before driving down Ute pass to attend my night classes at UCCS*, same school as Soph. At night the Golden Trio, as we had dubbed the three leaders of the pack, slept on the couch in living room while Sophie and I split the other eight evenly.

Kelsier, Crowley, Shiloh, and Buck came to sleep with me, while Alexander, Travis, Adam, and Jashin stayed with her. It was nice set up, and I hadn't slept so soundly in years.

Things changed far too soon for my taste.

That day started normally, the same way the day I got the dogs did, though my dear roommate had the day off so she was there. We were all in the guest room, us two humans digging old boxes from my childhood out of the closet in what used to be my big sisters room, trying to find the extra light bulbs that had been in there since I was five.

All was going well, after two hours of sorting through boxes we had finally found what we needed. Now, you may ask us why we did not simply go out and buy more light bulbs. The answer to that question, because I'm stubborn about stupid things.

While my darker haired friend left to put it in I started playing with Kelsier. Sorta. Playing with most of them was more us showering them with affection that actually playing. And for what was surprisingly the first time I went ahead and kissed the biggest dog we had.

There was a puff of a smoke, and a flash of blue, and I think my heart stopped completely.

* * *

Kisame had no idea how it had happened, but one moment he was receiving more love in five minutes than he had normally gotten in five years and the next he was consumed in fire. The sensation of burning lasted only a split second but when it was over he found himself sitting on the floor with much longer, much more human limbs, smoke floating around his very naked body, and Shelly on the ground before him, starring in stunned silence.

"So that's how we fix it," He commented idly, watching as it seemed to snap the younger girl out of her daze and she opened her mouth wide. The blue man tensed, moving to cover her mouth but the only sound that escaped was strangled sounding wheeze of air.

Suddenly they were surrounded by the other akatsuki, all of them leaping towards the girl until she was pinned to the ground, writhing under the combined weight of the majority of his comrades. A sudden bark from their leader and most of them cleared off, save Hidan who insisted on licking her face until she threw him off forcibly.

"What the hell is going on?!" his head snapped up to see the other girl standing in the doorway before she spun, trying to run before Kisame, in all his bare glory, closed the distance between the, and caught her arm. Sophie cried out in shock and tried to yank away before her head smacked into the wall of the close quarters and she fell limp.

"Soph!" he turned again, using his arm to keep his former caretaker from falling to the ground. Shelly was still on the floor, Itachi's jaws clamped around her arm just hard enough to keep her still without breaking skin.

"She'll be fine," the shark nin assured her, flashing teeth. He watched her look from her friend , to his face, to somewhere further south, and almost laughed at the shade of crimson her face turned before she looked away at the rest of the Akatsuki, hiding her face and meeting only Konan's eyes.

"At least I didn't kiss a frog."

* * *

What had happened, I was only vaguely sure of. I had kissed a dog and now a man was standing in my house. But wait, there's more! Not only was this man a good foot taller than me, but he was well muscled, blue, and _naked_. Oh, and fictional. That too.

Did I mention he wasn't wearing clothes?

I yelped suddenly and launched myself back into a wall when one of the dogs, or I had thought they were dogs, lunged at me and licked my face, tongue going straight into my mouth.

"Shit, Jashin no! No frenching in the closet!" I wiped my face (and my mouth) off on my sleeve, staring out from where I had ended up under a shelf in the southern closet. The blue man, who I recognize, unfortunately, had gone and was back with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Why did it work when you kissed me but not when he kissed you?" the man asked, setting Sophie on a bed in a nicer way than I had expected and looking at me expectantly.

"Maybe because I wanted to kiss you and he assaulted me?" I offered weakly, trying to piece together enough of my psyche to actually understand what was going on. Theories flew through my mind, most prominently that I was hallucinating, but Crowley's teeth had left marks enough to shoot that one down.

Which forced me to accept that whatever it was that was happening was actually happening.

Shit.

* * *

*** I don't attend UCCS so all of that about online courses and night classes is purely speculation based on other colleges systems.  
**


End file.
